Patchy beard

Man of Honour
Joined
26 Dec 2003
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Location
Shropshire
As someone who can only grow 'bum fluff' on his face, I feel for you OP.

I've tried the vitamins and they don't work (que people going 'derp of course they won't').

It seems my body hates me as I'm now starting to bald as well and I'm only 26.

GF won't be too happy if I'm bald for the wedding photos!

I've been going grey since I was 15 and been thinning for the last few years, it's why I decided to go full beard I need to keep hold of some sort of hair! :D
 
Soldato
Joined
27 Dec 2009
Posts
10,011
As someone who can only grow 'bum fluff' on his face, I feel for you OP.

I've tried the vitamins and they don't work (que people going 'derp of course they won't').

It seems my body hates me as I'm now starting to bald as well and I'm only 26.

GF won't be too happy if I'm bald for the wedding photos!

Fortunately you have a choice of options to fix your wedding problem:

1) Fedora

2) Baseball cap (worn backwards or maybe sideways)

Unfortunately neither of these are really suitable for the OP's beard related applications.
 
Caporegime
Joined
23 Apr 2014
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25,538
Location
Huem
As someone who can only grow 'bum fluff' on his face, I feel for you OP.

I've tried the vitamins and they don't work (que people going 'derp of course they won't').

It seems my body hates me as I'm now starting to bald as well and I'm only 26.

GF won't be too happy if I'm bald for the wedding photos!

Just inject loads of test mate.
 
Permabanned
Joined
24 Apr 2014
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5,258
Location
Caledonia
Buy a face wig.

MP5ZJm4.jpg
 
Soldato
Joined
14 May 2009
Posts
4,005
Location
Hampshire
Fortunately you have a choice of options to fix your wedding problem:

1) Fedora

2) Baseball cap (worn backwards or maybe sideways)

Unfortunately neither of these are really suitable for the OP's beard related applications.

A top hat maybe?

That would work....
 
Soldato
Joined
22 Oct 2005
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4,013
Location
Thailand
As others have suggested Colman's English mustard works wonders. However, start clean shaven and make sure you really work it into the pores. :)
 
Associate
Joined
15 Oct 2011
Posts
454
Location
Bristol
Shark testosterone bud, you'll be a hairy (but slightly violent) man in no time! And on a serious note, does your hair have patchy parts? If so alopecia rings a bell.

But go kill that Bull Shark yourself, absorb all it's testosterone and tell us how it goes pls, my head needs some hair on it
 
Soldato
Joined
12 Jan 2006
Posts
3,636
Location
Edinburgh
I had assumed someone would have linked to the original thread by now. A few years back a member of these forums did some research into facial hair growth. He investigated all sort of creams and treatments, but the most successful results occurred after applying mustard (English mustard iirc) to his face and then shaving his head. The fresh shavings were then applied to the mustard coating, which apparently stimulated the cuttings to form new roots.

The original thread contained a lot of hilarity, but the results were remarkable!

I'll see if I can dig out a link, but it might have been pre-nuke.
 
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